The Death of the Fist Bump

I remember when Michael Jackson’s “Bad” hit the music stores. For Generation X, bad was good and cool was cliche. We loved our parents but they truly did not understand our culture or who we were. We barely understood it ourselves.

Bad went to Rad which later became Random. Each time the previous term became gauche and dropped out of common usage among the young. I never saw when Bad went bad or Rad deteriorated into nothing, but I believe I have spotted the death of the fist bump.

One night, as I was busily typing away on some manuscript or another, I heard my wife exclaim, “No way!”

I looked up at her and she waved me over saying “Watch this.”

She rewound the TV as I walked over and sat down. The evening news was on. The anchorman had made a spontaneous and slightly funny comment. Laughing, the weatherman leaned over and the unthinkable happened. They fist bumped. This wasn’t two athletes on the field celebrating a great play or two college men over laughing over beers. This was a pinstriped grey-haired regional anchorman and a double breasted white haired weatherman. The foundation of the fist bump was cracking.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised; that wasn’t the first odd fist bump on television. Obama and his wife bumped on national TV after winning the Democratic presidential nomination back in 2008. Such national exposure could only serve to drive the practice into the hands of those who never had business fist bumping in the first place. In fact, in response to the Obama bump, Time magazine actually did an article on “A brief history of the fist bump.”

Ultimately, I knew I was watching the final days of this gesture when my friend, Lenny, walked into our men’s bible study the other night and bumped fists with every man there. I think I was the youngest fellow in attendance and I left my college days behind a decade and half ago. We all grinned as we amused ourselves with the youthful greeting.

What is in a touch? A pat, a hand shake, or a fist bump can go a long way to drawing others into your life. It is especially powerful in America where we Americans live in a world of relatively little physical contact. If you are not a hugger, one who comes up and gives unsolicited hugs, you could very well find yourself going for a week at a time with zero physical contact from anyone other than your wife and kids.

Part of this, I think, is because we are so self-absorbed. We can fake our way through a how-are-you-fine greeting without ever actually having to slow down and connect to the person. A handshake is a request for information. It requires focus and intent; offering one without focus is a clear and unmistakable insult. When a hand is extended in earnest and eyes meet there is an exchange that says, “Hello, you are important enough to me to stop my normal course, abort my hurried day, and stop to greet you.”

I remember my first day in Sunday school in 8th grade. I decided to go to church. I walked into the room and was introduced around. After the teacher took first honors, every young man in that room shook my hand and greeted me. The impression was powerful: This circle of young men really cared about me and they didn’t even know me. I was hooked.

As a Christians, we should try an experiment. Any time we meet someone, the first time for a day, every day, reach out to them physically. Smile and reach out a hand. Solicit a handshake or, if you can make it work, a fist bump. It’s awkward, because other than initial meetings most of us don’t do this. Our friends and co-workers will wonder what we’re doing as we’ve never done it before. Now here’s the opportunity, ask how they are doing and mean it. We won’t likely get a response, because they won’t expect it. The thing they will understand, however, is that we care.